Thursday, November 11, 2010
Crimes against Design, if not Humanity. AGAIN.
(First seen by me on on YTTH. image Copyright, Games Workshop, and they can fucking keep it )
I like to balance the good with the bad, so let me first say what I think is right with this depressingly ugly model that was designed by sightless, mindless, tasteless morons. Do remember that these are the same demented troglodytes who brought you this slab-sided piece of shit literally, on a stick:
(image copyright Games Workshop and Forgeworld, and again, they may keep it)
Remember him? Cestus the Ram? With his shipping container hulls and nonsensical wings? He remembers you. How many people have plunked down 92 Pounds Sterling for one of these flying garbage trucks? Less than FW hoped for, I'll bet. You think there's going to be a stampede for Stormraven kits?
Actually, I think there will be, because unlike me, a majority of people won't care what it looks like, just that it exists.
Quick side trip to art school: which design more embraces the established Space Marine aesthetic?
Remember, their first production aircraft 40k design ( I chose to ignore the ancient Epic line, for purposes of this discussion) was this:
(image copyright Games Workshop and Forgeworld. they may keep it to ignite the pyre for the first two)
If you answered "the first one" to the above question, then give yourself a gold star. You're right. They belong together and were designed to look similar. Now, the Thunderhawk is still slab-sided, ugly, and has design features that were stuck on there by people who had no idea what they were doing, but at least it started as something halfway cohesive. Then that jerk came along and ruined it with the stub lascannon wings, the big dumb gun and those laughable gun mounts. He's the same guy with the lego collection who decided to build the Stormraven, and he used less than the 15 minutes he'd had for the first one. But, at least he had an eye on all the other Space Marine kits, unlike the drunken retarded troll who made the Cestus station wagon.
So, what do we do with this new kit?
Rip the wings and engines off and put them in a little pile next to you. Now rip the turret and hook thing off of the fuselage. Rip the lascannons off and put them in your pile. Chuck the turret. Chuck the hook thing. Keep the fuselage and its attendant bits and bobs and put them in your pile. See the pile of bits next to you? Keep them. They're good for that next thing you're going to build. Maybe it's a dropship, maybe it's not. Those other things? Maybe they're useful, maybe they're not. But for the bits you get for the money you're spending, you might as well go buy a Land Raider and some Valkyrie parts on eBay and carry on. You'll probably end up saving yourself some cash.
Happy Veterans Day, and to all of you who have served and are serving, thank you. If I ever meet you, beer's on me.