Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Day....

It is the Soldier, not the minister
Who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the Soldier, not the poet
Who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us freedom to protest.

It is the Soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the Soldier, not the politician
Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.

©Copyright 1970, 2005 by Charles M. Province

To all of those who are serving, have served,  and have sacrificed, thank you and God bless.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Flyer Leak! or GW's Art Dept has Schizophrenia like you wouldn't believe...

What is this, a 1985 GI Joe cartoon?

(images from the leaked scans over at The Shell Case blog.)

Oh GW, words fail me. 

Wait, no they don't , otherwise I wouldn't have a blog. Words do not fail me on how shit this aircraft is. One had hoped that the "concept art" from a while back was someone's idea of a joke, but sadly, it's not. When at rest, the thing sits on its turret. Considering the weight of the rest of the aircraft, this is a MAJOR ENGINEERING NO-NO. They couldn't be bothered to stylize the turret at all, and left it as an irritating little box with an assault cannon sticking out of it (ammo, GW?) And what is that thing sticking out the back of the canopy? A cloaking shield for the rest of the thing? The artist that drew it and the manager that green lit it should be shot. For crying out loud, it looks like something from a Japanese bullet hell shooter (except that the Japanese would have employed decent artists). This thing should have been a burly, muscular aircraft, not the front 1/8 of one. Why do the GW artists stop at the front of the plane and call it a day? Why?

Oh wait, they don't:

Hooray! It's a plane! Boo it's wasted on the Orks.
Look! It's a proper aircraft! That's right, the thing that makes sense as an actual working plane is built by the howling  space monkeys who look like they should have built that flying blue guppy up there. Once again, the orks seem to get all the good art talent for their shitty codex. Bravo, boys, and fuck you. 

You know, in a colossal middle finger to whomever designed the StormFish, I might have to ram these two kits together and make some kind of Cobra Rattler for the Ultramarines to fly around. Except, of course, that the game stats for the StormFly are utter shit. 

Moving on:

I understand the working name was "Moon Over My Hammy"

We knew it'd look like this, didn't we? A nasty flying crescent with an inexplicably exposed pilot. The new robot bug designs are phenomenal, and the plane is.... well, it's not bad, is it? I don't know what that shit around the rim is, but the rest of the thing is serviceable... sort of? The same way you wouldn't mind being given a shitty sports car because, though it may not be a great sports car,  at least it's got a turbocharged V12 and it's free? Anyway, let's look at the competitor for this slot in my army: 

Ooooh right. A horrifying mechanical nightmare with actual scythes that is, itself, vaguely scythe-shaped:

Scythes, GW, are long and curved, not shaped like fluffy french pastry.
 All I'd have to do is mount it on a flight base and bob's-your-uncle. Oh, did I mention they break down into smaller parts for easy storage? And, since I'd inevitably want to spam them I already have a pair built. 

It seems you lose again, GW. But don't worry, those Carnifex bits don't come too cheap (wait, yes they do) and I will need some other gribblies from the parts resellers. 

Happy Wednesday, people. Note the poll in the top right.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Raise the Owlbear of Victory!

At the same time my Stormraven went over the top.... I was at work, I think. But later, I painted this owl bear. Thanks to everybody out there who put me over the top, I really appreciate it, guys. 

Anyhow, these furry, feathery (furthery?) monstrosities plague my D&D group every time we camp out in a forest, so I thought it as time to add one to the minis case. They seem to attack in teams of two or three, so this is probably the first of a few, but the LGS only had one, so. 

Bears are pretty monochrome, but owls have some fantastic patterns and tons of variation in there plumage. I was sorely tempted  to mottle his feathers and make a spotted owl, but wanted to get him done in time for D&D. This two-toned fellow will suffice for now, but the next time, definitely something a little more complex?

 Or, maybe just a snowy white one eating Harry Potter. 

Happy Sunday, people, and thanks again. 

Friday, May 4, 2012

Stormtalon Leaked!

Beasts of War apparently gets their hands on early copies of White Dwarf, and is revealing all sorts of things, most notably, this horrible thing. 

It flies. That's the best thing I can say about it. Why didn't they just take an Assault Marine and add on a bunch of weapons until he looked like a GP03? Modern Marines get things like the AV-8B Harrier II's, F/A-18's,  and the new F-35 Lightning. Future marines get the flying fish. Oh, and it still has the Stormraven's ridiculous tail assembly. Bravo. Obviously they wanted those little gunboats from Transformers 3, but went to the same git that gave us the previous raft of crap marine fliers, who then bent over and shat out this boxy turd. 

Speaking of turds, here are the stats: 
BS:4 AV11/11/11
Fast Skimmer, Aerial Assault, Supersonic
Ceramite Plating
Escort Craft: Place unit on table within 6" of another unit that arrived from Deepstrike, or Reserve.
Hoverstrike: Stay stationary to gain +1BS
TL Assault Cannon
TL Heavy Bolter - upgradable to either:
TL Typhoon Missile Launchers

TL Lascannon
TL Skyhammer Launchers - S:7 AP:4 Heavy3 R:60"

To sum up, it costs as much as a Vendetta and is not nearly as good. It has the same amount of gun mounts as a Landspeeder with marginally better weapons, but is won't survive long enough to put them to good use. Oh, and it can hold hands with something that deep strikes, so your DS'ing speeder won't feel alone as it gets shot up. This thing has a paltry AV11, so yes, it's going to be missiled out of the sky as soon as it shows its face, which is constantly, and since it's a flyer, it's going to be on a flight base, so, unlike our friend the speeder, no cover for you. It doesn't even carry a melta weapon to take advantage of its speed. 

If you can't figure out a better way to spend 130 points in the Big Blue SM Codex, not to mention your hard earned money, then I wash my hands of you. 


I see where your jealousy lies, GW. Shame on you!